Forget the Winter Olympics - Ski Monkey Run!

There’s got to be a way we can use this weird weather lately for our advantage around here.

For example, surely there is something we can do with the mounds of blackened snow, slush and ice that remain from the first onslaught back in December. That is, if Friday’s rain hasn’t finally washed it away.

Here it is, the second weekend in January, and we’ve just gone through the second arctic wedgie in less than a month. And it wasn’t even winter when the first winter storm hit. Winter’s only three weeks old, so there’s bound to be more of this stuff ahead for us, and we need to find a way to capitalize on it.

I’ve come up with a slogan for one possible idea: Ski Monkey Run!

Can’t you just see that slogan on T-shirts and bumper stickers and coffee cups? It would be a great marketing tool for us, and folks would come from far and wide to ski Monkey Run. I picked Monkey Run because it has a better ring to it than Ski Big Flat! Besides, “flat” and “ski” don’t seem to go together.

But, you ask, where can you ski at Monkey Run? Well, there are a couple of nice hills in the area; not real tall, but you probably could slide down them standing on a couple of planks, which pretty much defines skiing.

Another potential crowd-pleaser when it gets real icy would be to close off Highway 5 North up by Three Brothers and turn it into a toboggan run. Actually, it could be great as a luge run, too. Anyone who has driven that stretch of road knows how winding and twisty it is. It’s perfect for those two winter sports. Granted, if you miss a turn or slide under a guard rail, that first step would be a doozy, but extreme sports enthusiasts would love it.

Come to think of it, there are a couple of places there that would be great for ski jumping. Naturally, as it would be making a wrong turn while luging, the landing would be a little rough, but just think of the distance records that could be set hurtling off Highway 5 across the valley below —way, way below.

I’ve heard some of the parking lots around town have been like skating rinks during these last two winter assaults. There’s another idea. Literally use a parking lot as an ice-skating rink. Folks wouldn’t even need ice skates; they could just wear their street shoes and slip-slide away across the frozen asphalt. And if somebody wanted a real skating rink, they could just close off the drains, fill it with water and let it freeze solid, which with these recent winter blasts wouldn’t be hard to do.

Who knows, if it stays cold long enough, we might even be able to have a hockey game or two on a parking lot. I can see it now, the Mountain Home Red Necks.

There are a couple of hills out at ASUMH that would be good for snowboarding ... well, at least short runs. Actually, I think there are some folks who already do that when there’s a lot of snow here. I know it’s a popular spot for sledding, and it might even be good for short skiing (although its slogan couldn’t beat Ski Monkey Run!)

Something else that could be popular around here would be a winter version of mudding. Instead of getting off in mud, folks could drive their trucks off into the snow to cut donuts and spin around, bounce along across rough terrain with no idea of what’s under the white stuff. Surely there are a couple of places in the area that we could promote to attract winter tourists here to go “snowing.”

Look, we’re stuck with this stuff for another two months, at least, and rather than just gripe about it, we should find ways to make the most of it. As for me, I’ll be trying to stay snug and warm near the coffee pot, but in my mind and in my heart, I will be thinking one thing as I watch snow fall —Ski Monkey Run!