Sometimes a child just wants to be alone

I know times are different from when many of us were growing up, but if things keep going they way they are pretty soon folks will be living in hermetically sealed dwellings and wearing bio-suits whenever they go outside, two by two.

Most likely you've heard about the mom in Austin who almost got into trouble because her son was playing outside — alone. A neighbor saw the 6-year-old playing at a park bench about 150 yards from where he lived. The neighbor took the boy home, told his mom he'd been outside, alone, and she thought he needed to be back home. In her blog, the mom said her son had been playing, within sight of their home, with his 8-year-old sister and their dog when the little girl took the dog back to their house. Mom thanked her, not particularly thrilled about the neighbor's actions

Next, the police came calling to ask about the boy, and then an officer from child protection services showed up her door to question her children about such things as drugs, pornography, abuse and whatever else came to mind. All of this because a neighbor did not think the boy should be playing outside alone. In the end, the woman was cleared of any wrongdoing because she let her children play outside.

I think the neighbor took the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" idea too far. I can understand being concerned about a child being alone outdoors with no adult around, but it wasn't the neighbor's place to take the boy home, and calling the police and social services on the mom was going way beyond the line. Helicopter parents are one thing, but helicopter neighbors is going just too far.

Sure, we need to keep an eye on our children, but that doesn't mean parents or adults need to be hovering over them 24/7. And it doesn't mean youngsters need to be kept inside all the time, either. There's nothing wrong with letting your children play outside, play in their yards, play within sight of home, and not have an adult standing guard. Besides play, it helps children to let them do things on their own, that they can do things on their own with the thought mom or dad isn't too far away.

What things like the Austin incident does is help instill fear in children. Surely those children had no idea what the police wanted with their mom, or why the social services lady was asking them strange questions, and they probably thought they'd done something wrong. All thanks to a concerned, nosy neighbor.

How many of you remember playing outside, alone or with friends, for hours at a time? Most summer days were spent outside. And many of us didn't limit our outdoor recreation to the yard. When I was this boy's age, I walked home from school by myself, and I played outside by myself. When I was older, and we'd moved into the country, I rode my bicycle all over the place, down miles of dirt road and all the way to town and anywhere I could go. My folks didn't know exactly where I was, and they didn't limit my wanderings.

We didn't have cell phones to call home or maintain constant contact, either. We didn't have to have our parents take us everywhere. Not everything was an organized activity, or a group activity. Sure, we had friends with whom we'd do things, but they didn't require adult supervision (although there was a time or two it might have been a good idea).

Different times, you say? Yes, they were. And yes, even then there were people who would harm children, but we didn't live in fear. We were told to be careful, and we were, to the best of our ability. We didn't dwell on the possibility that someone could just snatch you up and whisk you away. We didn't have that idea pounded into our heads, or subliminally injected into our subconscious every day. To be honest, I think I was in my late teens before I even knew about pervs like that. Now, 4-year-olds know about the bad people.

This is one of those things I think goes back to having 24/7 information blaring at us. If something happens to a child in northernmost Maine or the southernmost border of California, the whole world knows about it within minutes, and people pull in the apron strings on their children just a little more. We localize everything and feed the fear of "what if" in our hometowns.

I suspect in future generations children won't know the fun and pleasure of being able to play by themselves, to let run free and set their imaginations loose, to slip the bonds of adult supervision. If video games and digital culture doesn't keep them locked away indoors, parents will out of fear, of either "stranger danger," or just nosy neighbors.