They're your servers, not your slaves

How would you like to have a job where folks think you’re their servant and act as if they’re the owners of Downton Abbey? Well, that’s the way a lot of waitresses and waiters and servers — pick your favorite term — feel when they’re at work.

A Facebook friend who works as a hostess/server at a local eating establishment had a rough day recently and was commenting about it. Now, I’ve always had respect for the ladies and gentlemen who wait on tables. It’s not an easy job.

You’re on your feet most of your shift, you’re on the run — sometimes literally — you’re carrying orders of food and sometimes are juggling plates to keep from dropping them. On top of that, you’ve got to be friendly, pleasant, smiling, knowledgable about everything on the menu and possess the skills of a trained diplomat, even when you’d just as soon pour scalding coffee into the lap of an obnoxious customer displeased by everything since birth.

I never have understood why these hard-working folks are treated as servants instead of servers. There is a difference. Or why some diners think they’re better than the people waiting on them. Sure, there’s the occasional server who makes it clear he or she has absolutely no interest in the job and could care less who gets the cheeseburger and who has the soup. I’ve even encountered a rude server or two. But, I’ve found those are the exceptions.

Some people seem to delight in their rudeness to wait staff. They’ll have the server running back and forth for this and that just because they can, not because they necessarily need something. They talk down to servers as if they’re children or don’t understand the language, or laugh at them if they make a mistake. Some berate servers in front of other customers, and curse them even. I guess they must think that, at least for a few minutes, it makes them feel more important or fills some void in their lives.

It is good to acknowledge your server. My Facebook friend mentioned she’d speak to a customer and get no response, so she’s not sure if the food is all right or if it stinks or if something isn’t right. She pointed out that if something’s wrong, she can’t fix it if they don’t speak up, or wait until they’re finished to complain.

Now, I am convinced servers receive training on how to approach you and ask how everything is when you’ve just taken a bite and began chewing. Much like a dentist starting a conversation while drilling your tooth. I’ll usually nod, or give a thumbs up, or make a gesture to have the server wait a moment.

Then, there’s tipping. Restaurant workers don’t get paid a whole lot, even though they usually have the same bills to pay as the rest of us, and many may be trying to support a family as well, sometimes as the only breadwinner. Tips are a big part of their income. So, it’s only fair to leave a little something on the table for their service. And if you go there regularly, it helps reassure good service in the future.

Yet, some people will get up and walk away with hardly a thought of leaving a tip. It’s one thing if the service was extremely poor, or if the server was rude or been incompetent and you want to “teach a lesson.” It’s another if you received good service and a good meal and just stiff the server. I’ve heard stories from different people who have worked as servers about working tables with eight or 10 people who have run up a good-sized ticket, and not one leaves a tip.

While how much you should tip seems to fluctuate, you need to leave something, something besides a penny or two, or some sort of pamphlet. And especially if you’re part of a large group; everyone should pitch in for a tip unless one person is feeling especially generous.

Probably the best thing you can do for a server, or anyone else who must deal with the public, goes back to an old, basic rule: Put yourself in their position and ask yourself how you’d like to be treated. Another, perhaps more cynical, rule to follow is: Never tick off people who handle your food.

As for all you servers out there, thank you for the work you do, for the service you provide and for keeping my glass of iced tea or cup of coffee filled.