If we're very quiet, winter may miss us, again

When I see the behemoth blizzard bearing down on the northeast, I’m just glad it missed us. I don’t think there’s enough bread and milk in all of Baxter County to deal with 2 feet of snow.

It looks as if you live anywhere in the northeast, this storm is going to knock the screaming bejabbers out of you. I’ve got a couple of friends who live up that way, one who went to school with Kim and now lives in Maine, another who lives in Massachusetts and is a Facebook friend. Both have been getting ready for the big blast. I’m sure they’ve got plenty of bread, milk and other supplies to face the storm of the century.

What’s surprised me is that this storm has a name, Nemo. When did they start naming winter storms? Is it just to be cool? Or, is it easier to keep track of which storm of the century they’re talking about if it has a name? I first noticed this when TV weather reporters referred to an earlier winter storm dubbed Khan. I kept picturing Ricardo Montalban blasting snow across the planet as William Shatner screamed, “KHHHAAANNN!”

Does this mean the next time one of these huge storms zeroes in on us down here in the hills that it’ll have a name, too? Or is this something just reserved for the northeast? If they do name it, I hope they come up with something a little more frightening than Nemo. After all, nowadays when you say Nemo most folks think of a cute little fish, not James Mason raiding the seven seas aboard the Nautilus.

Now, I liked Khan. It had that conquer-the-world, bury-the-Earth ring to it. So, if the Midwest and South get one of these storms, I hope they at least give it a decent, ominous name. Maybe something like Thor, because it’s going to hammer the region. Or, sticking with the movie theme, how about Jason or Freddy because of cutting winds?

Actually, we’ve been fairly lucky here this winter. Other than the Christmas snowfall, which melted quickly, ours has been a relatively mild winter other than a few bone-chilling days. And I’m not about to complain. Granted, we always need a good, solid freeze to cut down on the spring’s insect population, but on the whole I’ve liked this winter because it’s been mild.

I’ve never made a secret of my dislike of the cold. I’m just not fond of it. I like snow when it arrives by itself without sleet and ice. It makes things look pretty, and if there’s enough it’s great for making snow ice cream. If it’s gone in a couple of days, I like that even better.

What I don’t like is ice, especially like the ice storm we had four years ago. I don’t like temperatures that can have icicles forming on the tip of your nose in 10 seconds, either. That part of winter I can do without.

Of course, I’m not sure I’d like 2 feet of snow. We’ve had that here before, too, and it turned to ice. We could walk across our yard on top of the snow without sinking down or even cracking the crust that winter. The snow was nice and pretty, until the winds picked up, the temperature plummeted and everything turned into ice.

I guess if you’re raised where it’s cold like that every winter you’re used to it. I remember in college, there was this one guy from New Jersey. When everyone else bundled up as the thermometer hit freezing, he still was running around in short sleeves and shorts. Said it didn’t bother him. I’ve noticed that about other folks from above the Mason/Dixon Line. So many of them seem unaffected by our cold weather. Of course, having seen on TV what winter is like in Chicago and Green Bay, winter here is nothing. That also may explain why they’re no longer living there, too.

But, it’s not over yet. We’ve seen it snow well into March here in the Ozarks, and freezing temps even in April. So, just because we haven’t been snowed under this season — or last year, either — doesn’t mean we’re free and clear. With climate change, global warming, or just a really aggravated Mother Nature, anything’s possible.

I just hope we don’t get one of those superstorms, and if we do, I hope it at least gets a frightening name, like Winter Storm Honey BooBoo.

And to Debbie and Elizabeth up in the northeast, stay bundled, keep warm and think warm thoughts.