I bet this will make Rhonda cry, too

After Rhonda Porter was born, they broke the mold. Actually, anyone — and that’s nearly everyone around Baxter County — who knows Rhonda knows there already was a crack in the mold. A picture of Rhonda with her nose pressed against the glass door of the county clerk’s office, eyes wide, pretty well defines her personality.

It’s hard to believe Rhonda’s stepping down as circuit and county clerk after more than three decades with the county, most of them as clerk. She’s been a Baxter County institution, although friends might say she should be in an institution. No one knows the ins and outs of county government like Rhonda, who for years has kept the records of folks from birth to marriage to death, of homes bought and sold, of thousands of voters.

Keeping track of court records has been one of her primary tasks, from arrests to trials to appeals in the criminal courts, of civil matters from lawsuits to divorces and everything in between. If it’s recorded in Baxter County, Rhonda’s stamp has been on it.

All of these are serious business, not only for now but also for maintaining records for history. Yet, as serious as it is, Rhonda’s brought her unique sense of humor — some might even say warped — to the job along with a winning personality.

Jury duty is something folks dread as much as root canals and John Boehner crying jags. It’s almost like being drafted, only without the physicals and boot camp. Rhonda has a unique way of disarming those unfortunate souls called to duty, of easing their concerns, explaining what jury duty is all about, and even getting them to smile or chuckle, even while drawing their names during jury selection. That’s not easy, but Rhonda makes it look easy.

Having seen her prepare a jury panel many times, I came to the conclusion that the flair with which Rhonda handles it would make her a perfect tour guide at Silver Dollar City, or a spinner of yarns at the Ozark Folk Center.

Through all these years, it’s been a hoot working with Rhonda. It’s also an honor to call her a friend outside of work, too. I’m not really sure how it developed, but many years ago Rhonda and her husband, Porter (which is what everyone calls him), and Kim and I became friends. In that time, it’s become more of a familial relationship than just friendship.

We’ve spent a lot of time together, even took a couple of trips together. Once, we all went to Hot Springs for a weekend at the races. The real fun came that evening when we went bowling. Rhonda proved a hoot, as always. Now, we all were younger then, but still older than the group of teens bowling a couple of lanes down. They kept watching us older, mature adults, and apparently thought we were crazy. Rhonda didn’t help correct that impression, nor did Kim when she didn’t let go of the ball on one throw.

Needless to say, it became one of those lifetime memories for us all, and probably the teens, too, who quickly left, apparently frightened away by those crazy “adults.”

There have been good times for us. Late-night games of Yahtzee and Skip-Bo, celebrating New Year’s Eve at their house, just hanging out together. We’ve watched Rhonda and Porter’s sons grow from boys into manhood. Rhonda and Porter have been aunt and uncle to Eli and Amelia. Honestly, it’s sometimes hard to determine who’s the adult and who’s the kid when Rhonda and Amelia are together.

Rhonda and I both have birthdays in August and were born the same year. Hers is first, so I’ve always had the chance to tease her about being older. She’s usually repaid me in kind. (Don’t tell her, but I’m already collecting black balloons for her next landmark birthday in a few years.) Porter and Kim just stay out of the way, which probably is a wise choice.

Another thing about Rhonda is she’s soft-hearted. Even if she couldn’t help someone, she always was willing to listen, to share a shoulder. By that nature, she also tends to get a little emotional sometimes, quick to cry, and always real tears. She’s also easy to embarrass, even when receiving accolades.

At court Thursday, Circuit Judge Gordon Webb — who’s worked with Rhonda since he became prosecutor not long after she went to work at the clerk’s office — praised her on the record and applauded her service and friendship. Rhonda got a standing ovation from everyone in the courtroom — the judge, the lawyers, the court personnel, even the defendants. Naturally, Rhonda’s eyes swelled with tears. (She’ll probably cry when she reads this.)

It’s hard to picture the clerk’s office without Rhonda there to liven it up and quick to help. I know she’s always been proud of her “girls,” the women who make the office run, and they surely will miss her more than anyone. Lawyers, real estate folks, everyone who’s had business with the county will miss her, too.

But, she’ll still be around, and Kim and I look forward to more adventures with her and Porter. Here’s wishing her the best of luck and happiness in her retirement from public service. May she always be a hoot.