What would you do with
$600 million?
Probably anything you wanted, I imagine.
Once again, the country’s in the throes of lottery fever as
people buy up Powerball tickets so quickly you’d think they were tickets to a
Miranda Lambert vs. Beyonce mudwrestling contest. I paused at a local
convenience establishment for lunch Friday and while they weren’t lined up out
the door, there was a steady stream of folks buying lottery tickets.
In making a full disclosure, I, too, have tossed a couple of
bucks into the pot for lottery tickets. Hey, you never know.
I’ll admit that I could have gotten a more substantial and
useful return for $2, such as a half-gallon of gasoline. Or, I could have put
it back with the rest of my savings to purchase an IRA. They do have $10 IRAs,
don’t they? But, like millions of other people who are running up the pot, I
thought I’d make my contribution, too.
According to something I read, you have a better chance of
being elected president of the United States than winning the lottery. I’d
rather take my chances with the lottery; at least you instantly make more
friends and discover more relatives than you can shake a Powerball at.
Yes, the likelihood of winning the lottery is astronomical.
You have better odds of being struck by lighting, having a meteor fall on your
car, meeting Bigfoot at an Elvis convention, seeing that Miranda/Beyonce
mudwrestling contest, finding an honest politician, or any combination of the
above.
Actually, I sometimes think Bigfoot at an Elvis convention is
more possible than finding an honest politician.
Anyway, when the lottery pot hits nine-digit amounts, folks
really feel as if they can’t afford to pass up the chance, no matter how
remote, that they can pick the right combination of numbers that will make them
richer than deep-fried butter by Paula Deen. Hitting the lottery has become the
American dream since the previous one crashed, burned and was trampled into the
ground.
Who wouldn’t like a shot at becoming part of the 1 percent?
The way things are going these days, winning a lottery may become the best way
of moving up the financial food chain.
Of course, you really won’t get $600 million, or whatever the
pot is up to by drawing time. At least not in a lump sum. Most calculations I’ve
seen are that when lottery winners take their prize in a lump sum it’s usually
about half. So, in that case, it would be about $300 million, give or take a
couple of million.
Then, Uncle Sam and the tax piranhas get their share, which
cuts it down by about half or so again. That would leave about $150 million if
you win. It’s still Jed Clampett territory, so you might be able to buy a
Beverly Hills mansion with a cement pond. Or whatever else you wanted.
Personally, I think I could squeeze by on $150 million.
Shoot, I’d be happy with just, oh, $5 million or $10 million. A million would
be all right, too, but with the cost of living these days a million doesn’t go
as far as it used to. (I tell people I’m working on my second million ...
because I gave up on the first.)
Still, those fantasies we all have of striking it rich are
nice: Paying off all your bills, getting a new car (or two), buying a tank of
gas, fixing up your home, maybe getting a new home, traveling, putting your
children through college, pursuing dreams, even being a benefactor for someone
else.
I’ve often said if I won the lottery I probably wouldn’t just
up and quit working, but my threshold for getting ticked off would be much,
much lower. But, if I won $150 million, well, I’ll just buy that bridge when I
come to it.
Now, I know the old saying is that money can’t buy happiness.
True, but it can make misery a little more comfortable, and as J.R. Ewing once said, “Rich folks are always happy.”
I always figured if I was happy with a little...think how happy I'd be with a lot ;)
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