It's quite amazing what thoughts a tryptophan coma generates

Recovering from a tryptophan coma gives you a chance to ponder a few things you might not have thought of before. Or, it could be that the overdose of Thanksgiving dinner has adverse effects on your mind and imagination.

For example, just when did the first man, or woman, eat an oyster? And how hungry were they that they thought, “Let’s pry this rock-looking thing open and eat the slimy innards. After all, those pesky birds have been dropping them on other rocks and eating them.”

Seriously, although I’ve grown to like, or at least tolerate, oysters, I can’t help wondering what it was that prompted that first individual to slurp down one. Now, I can understand the reasoning that told them, “You know, this might be better if we throw them in the fire, then eat them.”

Another thought that came to mind was how long did it take folks to decide which mushrooms were edible and which ones would drop you dead faster than a sea gull dropping an oyster? Think about it, think about all the varieties of edible mushrooms there are, and all the variety of poisonous mushrooms or toadstools that exist. A hit-or-miss approach to sampling them truly was a matter of life-and-death.

Choose properly and you’ve got a nice little topping for your pizza. Choose wrongly, and there’s an extra seat available at the table. There must have been a lot of Mikeys around who would eat anything. Well, at least for a while there were a lot of Mikeys. Being an official mushroom taster probably wouldn’t have been long-term employment.

I know I’ve mentioned this before (and probably that oyster thing, too, come to think about it) but I still wonder about whoever was the first to smoke tobacco, or other substances. What inspired someone to say, “I’ll stick this reed into this hollow piece of wood (or clay), then I’ll stuff these dried leaves in it, set it on fire and suck in the smoke.”

Why did that seem like a good idea to them? I mean, you don’t see folks smoking the leaves in their yard, unless their yard is a tobacco farm, or they have some wildwood weed.

That same question follows through to cigars and cigarettes. I mean, somebody got the idea to roll up a tobacco leaf very tightly, put it in their mouth and set it on fire. I realize that gave way to the smaller simpler means of crushing the leaves and rolling them up on paper, but the question remains of why did it seem like a good idea to put it in the mouth then set it on fire? Right beneath your nose. In the middle of your face.

My turkey-based coma also prompted me to ponder a few more serious ideas. For example, when did sports and games go from being enjoyable pastimes to multi-billion-dollar corporations? How did sports evolve from those games into city/state rivalries that put the Greeks and Trojans to shame? When did being able to carry a ball become a business and life skill? At what point did coaches and athletes become more valuable than everyone else, and points on a scoreboard become more important than points on exams?

Another obvious one is when did Christmas cease to be a religious holiday and become the cornerstone of the American economy? There still are people who mark and honor the religious meaning of Christmas, but it seems as if that’s become obscured by the capitalistic feeding frenzy that now begins in October. I’m waiting for pre-Christmas sales to start in August.

Somehow, I don’t think the ones who gave us Christmas envisioned it as a time to try and outspend each other, or that frankincense, myrrh and gold would be replaced by cheap big-screen TVs. Well, the gold wasn’t; it’s become the main objective of the season in corporate America.

Sure, families used to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving because they were together and stores had sales to kick off the Christmas season and they could get in some early holiday shopping. At what point did the day get its own special name, then become the single-most important business day of the year on which businesses would rise and fall and the nation’s economic well-being would be judged? I’m surprised Congress hasn’t given Black Friday its own designation as an official holiday.

Christmas isn’t what it used to be. Although some lamented its commercialization years and years ago, their warnings weren’t heeded and Christmas, for too many, has become a day off to count their presents and profits, not their blessings.

I guess I got a little too serious there. After all that heavy thinking there, and all the rich Thanksgiving food, I think a pizza would make be good for supper. I wonder if I could get an oyster and mushroom pizza, although I’d appreciate someone else taking the first bite ... just to be safe.