Been wronged, had side effects, here’s a lawyer
Have you noticed those commercials and ads for ambulance-chasing lawyers are
showing up all over the place, even on Facebook. Of course, they’re going
hand-in-hand with those spots advertising assorted cure-alls that likely will be subject of lawsuits
in six months.
It’s hard for me to decide which is worse — lawyers holding out the hope of some sort of settlement for you if you used a certain medication, had a certain type of surgery or lopped a thumb off while using a table saw, or companies hawking medicines that treat everything from pimples to schizophrenia but have side effects that stop short of turning you into a zombie.
I thought it was bad enough when those spots were showing up on late-night TV, or occasionally on the radio. Then, they moved to mornings and afternoons, and finally made it to prime-time. They started popping up on the Internet, and now that Facebook is running ads/commercials in everyone’s timelines those ads are there now.
You know these ads. Some are for specific law firms that deal with specific issues — such being run over by 18-wheelers, or being abused by insurance companies. I call them “sue the b*******” ads because they just stop short of saying that. The folks on “Saturday Night Live” probably would say in one of their parodies. (I can just hear Dan Aykroyd saying it.)
Anyway, they’re the ones that show poor actors portraying people who have been wronged and seemingly have no recourse until the super lawyers arrive to help them. It comes across as a bad melodrama, with just the mention of the good guys causing the villains to drop their coffee mugs, snap their pencils, turn tail to slink away and possibly even doing something in their pants they haven’t done since they were toddlers.
Ever since the gate opened to allow lawyers to advertise, their promotions have ranged from dignified spots explaining only what services a firm offers to ones that seem to stop shy of being bad used-car dealers’ commercials (“Been in a wreck and the other party’s insurance company won’t pay? Sue the b*******!”).
It seems as if there isn’t a disease, medical treatment, prescription drug, social interaction or injustice that hasn’t been included in some massive lawsuit you’ve never heard of, but if you fall in the category you might be eligible for money. Or, the law firm’s representation, at least. (“Were you exposed to chalk dust as an elementary school student that lead to you developing allergies whose only treatment caused finger warts? You may be eligible for part of a settlement! If not, we’ll gladly find someone for you to sue!”
Medical treatments seem to be the current fertile ground for massive suits, or lawyers looking for clients to file massive suits. There have been some medications that turned out to be not as good as expected, and even have had tragic effects, and in those instances I think the patients or their families should be compensated for what befell them. But, a lot of these commercials seem to be seeking out potential clients rather than getting relief for someone who was wronged but may not be aware of a settlement that benefits them.
You know the ones: “Did you have your knee cap replaced with an aluminum pie pan and rubber band developed by the Thumbs Mackelman Corp.? Then you may be eligible for some dough.” Or, “If you have taken the drug Thehecwithit, and suffered bad breath, dandruff or died, you may be eligible for a piece of the action.”
Of course, some of these lawyer ads wouldn’t be possible with the commercials promoting various drugs. Instead of doctors suggesting a medication, these days folks are supposed to ask doctors if a certain one would be best for them. (“Should I take the 20mg or 40mg Dosethruitol to sleep at night?”) Doctors went to school for more years than any of us would want to so they could examine us and suggest what would best to treat our ailments. Why should we be telling them what we think we need?
And what about those potential side effects some of these advertised drugs have? I know I’ve talked about this before, but it’s been a while and maybe you’ve forgotten. Which could be a side effect of a drug you’ve taken, too.
Seriously, I think I’d rather put up with whatever it is I have than take some of these drugs. I mean, how much worse could it be than what the medicine may cause? “When taking Dosethruitol, do not operate heavy machinery, drive, fly airplanes, walk tightropes, twirl flaming batons, or engage in other activity that could result in tragic but potentially comic results.”
“Side effects include hair loss, sudden drop of testosterone in men, incredibly explosive blood pressure, ingrown toe nails, ear wax buildup, extensive nose hair growth and the heartbreak of halitosis. Or possible spontaneous combustion.”
Really, would you take anything like that to dry up your allergies? After all, what’s a snotty nose compared to spontaneous combustion?
If any of these things happen to you after taking certain medications, having certain medical procedures or just because of your luck of the draw, always remember there’s a law firm that, for a fee, gladly will help you sue the b*******.
It’s hard for me to decide which is worse — lawyers holding out the hope of some sort of settlement for you if you used a certain medication, had a certain type of surgery or lopped a thumb off while using a table saw, or companies hawking medicines that treat everything from pimples to schizophrenia but have side effects that stop short of turning you into a zombie.
I thought it was bad enough when those spots were showing up on late-night TV, or occasionally on the radio. Then, they moved to mornings and afternoons, and finally made it to prime-time. They started popping up on the Internet, and now that Facebook is running ads/commercials in everyone’s timelines those ads are there now.
You know these ads. Some are for specific law firms that deal with specific issues — such being run over by 18-wheelers, or being abused by insurance companies. I call them “sue the b*******” ads because they just stop short of saying that. The folks on “Saturday Night Live” probably would say in one of their parodies. (I can just hear Dan Aykroyd saying it.)
Anyway, they’re the ones that show poor actors portraying people who have been wronged and seemingly have no recourse until the super lawyers arrive to help them. It comes across as a bad melodrama, with just the mention of the good guys causing the villains to drop their coffee mugs, snap their pencils, turn tail to slink away and possibly even doing something in their pants they haven’t done since they were toddlers.
Ever since the gate opened to allow lawyers to advertise, their promotions have ranged from dignified spots explaining only what services a firm offers to ones that seem to stop shy of being bad used-car dealers’ commercials (“Been in a wreck and the other party’s insurance company won’t pay? Sue the b*******!”).
It seems as if there isn’t a disease, medical treatment, prescription drug, social interaction or injustice that hasn’t been included in some massive lawsuit you’ve never heard of, but if you fall in the category you might be eligible for money. Or, the law firm’s representation, at least. (“Were you exposed to chalk dust as an elementary school student that lead to you developing allergies whose only treatment caused finger warts? You may be eligible for part of a settlement! If not, we’ll gladly find someone for you to sue!”
Medical treatments seem to be the current fertile ground for massive suits, or lawyers looking for clients to file massive suits. There have been some medications that turned out to be not as good as expected, and even have had tragic effects, and in those instances I think the patients or their families should be compensated for what befell them. But, a lot of these commercials seem to be seeking out potential clients rather than getting relief for someone who was wronged but may not be aware of a settlement that benefits them.
You know the ones: “Did you have your knee cap replaced with an aluminum pie pan and rubber band developed by the Thumbs Mackelman Corp.? Then you may be eligible for some dough.” Or, “If you have taken the drug Thehecwithit, and suffered bad breath, dandruff or died, you may be eligible for a piece of the action.”
Of course, some of these lawyer ads wouldn’t be possible with the commercials promoting various drugs. Instead of doctors suggesting a medication, these days folks are supposed to ask doctors if a certain one would be best for them. (“Should I take the 20mg or 40mg Dosethruitol to sleep at night?”) Doctors went to school for more years than any of us would want to so they could examine us and suggest what would best to treat our ailments. Why should we be telling them what we think we need?
And what about those potential side effects some of these advertised drugs have? I know I’ve talked about this before, but it’s been a while and maybe you’ve forgotten. Which could be a side effect of a drug you’ve taken, too.
Seriously, I think I’d rather put up with whatever it is I have than take some of these drugs. I mean, how much worse could it be than what the medicine may cause? “When taking Dosethruitol, do not operate heavy machinery, drive, fly airplanes, walk tightropes, twirl flaming batons, or engage in other activity that could result in tragic but potentially comic results.”
“Side effects include hair loss, sudden drop of testosterone in men, incredibly explosive blood pressure, ingrown toe nails, ear wax buildup, extensive nose hair growth and the heartbreak of halitosis. Or possible spontaneous combustion.”
Really, would you take anything like that to dry up your allergies? After all, what’s a snotty nose compared to spontaneous combustion?
If any of these things happen to you after taking certain medications, having certain medical procedures or just because of your luck of the draw, always remember there’s a law firm that, for a fee, gladly will help you sue the b*******.
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Love this <3
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