Surprising things you might not know and other meanderings
Coming back to work one day between the Fourth of July holiday and the
weekend is difficult. My mind already went into weekend mode, and now I have to
yank it back to Sixth and Hickory for the day before the weekend resumes.
It’s days like these that I get a little lazy. ... Well, on Fridays I tend to get a little lazy. ... OK, OK, let’s just say my work enthusiasm isn’t really up to full speed a great part of the time and leave it at that. Anyway, with a mind still a bit foggy from the holiday (let’s not go there) I find at times like this are good times to look around and see what snippets I can borrow and share with you; not quite a “True Stories” roundup, but just a few things I found interesting ... and hope you do, too.
For example, I found this posted on John Ringo’s page, a writer I follow on Facebook. It was from a gentleman named Mike Krepp, who offers a few observations about how to know your vehicle has too much horsepower. Among them:
* You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if “they can look under the hood”
* Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car
* Your “significant other” is afraid to drive your car
* Your “significant other” won’t even ride in the car
* You are afraid to drive your car
* You find out that side mirrors don’t hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph
* The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart
* You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash
* You arrive somewhere before you left
* You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs
* Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors)
* You need parachute braking.
Elsewhere in the vast Internet, that source of infinite knowledge, wisdom and cat photos, I ran across a list of “Things You Didn’t Know About Roller Derby.” I know I was amazed.
* Roller derby’s roots lie in the 1930s skating marathons
* There are three positions in roller derby — jammer, blocker and pivot
* Points are earned by the jammer passing opposing team members (Now, I never did really know just how that worked, just that if the player at the back of the pack made to the front it was a score)
* Jammers wear helmets with stars and the pivot wears a helmet with stripes
* Team members have neat “skater names,” and so do the teams. There’s the Breakneck Brawlers of Girls Rollin’ in the South — G.R.I.T.S. — at Cabot whose team members include CleoPuncha, Daisy Fever, Evie Duzzit, Harley Hardtail, Rippa Newone, Miss Crasherella; or the Springfield Battle Broads with Bellatrix LePain, Slamburgler, Psycho Suzie, Sandra Day O’Slaughter, Seven Deadly Shins and Flat Nasty
* Roller derby hit its peak in the 1970s, and was revived in the early 2000s
* Roller Derby is under consideration for the 2020 Olympics.
Then, there are just random headlines that show up on the AOL page when I turn on my computer. Headlines such as:
* “How Britney Spears Copes With Anxiety” (I always thought it was alcohol, Marlboros and getting a bad haircut)
* “Miley Cyrus Says She Was Famed Rapper in Past Life” (You mean rap’s been around long enough for dead rappers to be reincarnated)
* “Nicole Richie’s Legs Are TONED” (Well, that certainly makes the world a better place)
* “Beyonce Eats Burger and Fries With Champagne” (Once again, the world is a better place for that)
* “What Kanye Was Doing When the Jay-Z Album Came Out” (Uh, eating burgers and fries with champagne with Beyonce)
* “Why Did Jennifer Love Hewitt Quit Twitter?” (Who cares)
* “Limbaugh: Fox News Tried to Shut Me Down” (Most of us just wish he’d shut up)
* “Keith Olbermann Takes Swipe at Rachel Maddow” (Don’t you just love a good cat fight?)
Well, I think I’ve done enough to make the world a better place for the moment without being a reincarnated rapper, or quitting Twitter. It’s time to get back to the weekend. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any roller derby matches scheduled?
It’s days like these that I get a little lazy. ... Well, on Fridays I tend to get a little lazy. ... OK, OK, let’s just say my work enthusiasm isn’t really up to full speed a great part of the time and leave it at that. Anyway, with a mind still a bit foggy from the holiday (let’s not go there) I find at times like this are good times to look around and see what snippets I can borrow and share with you; not quite a “True Stories” roundup, but just a few things I found interesting ... and hope you do, too.
For example, I found this posted on John Ringo’s page, a writer I follow on Facebook. It was from a gentleman named Mike Krepp, who offers a few observations about how to know your vehicle has too much horsepower. Among them:
* You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if “they can look under the hood”
* Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car
* Your “significant other” is afraid to drive your car
* Your “significant other” won’t even ride in the car
* You are afraid to drive your car
* You find out that side mirrors don’t hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph
* The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart
* You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash
* You arrive somewhere before you left
* You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs
* Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors)
* You need parachute braking.
Elsewhere in the vast Internet, that source of infinite knowledge, wisdom and cat photos, I ran across a list of “Things You Didn’t Know About Roller Derby.” I know I was amazed.
* Roller derby’s roots lie in the 1930s skating marathons
* There are three positions in roller derby — jammer, blocker and pivot
* Points are earned by the jammer passing opposing team members (Now, I never did really know just how that worked, just that if the player at the back of the pack made to the front it was a score)
* Jammers wear helmets with stars and the pivot wears a helmet with stripes
* Team members have neat “skater names,” and so do the teams. There’s the Breakneck Brawlers of Girls Rollin’ in the South — G.R.I.T.S. — at Cabot whose team members include CleoPuncha, Daisy Fever, Evie Duzzit, Harley Hardtail, Rippa Newone, Miss Crasherella; or the Springfield Battle Broads with Bellatrix LePain, Slamburgler, Psycho Suzie, Sandra Day O’Slaughter, Seven Deadly Shins and Flat Nasty
* Roller derby hit its peak in the 1970s, and was revived in the early 2000s
* Roller Derby is under consideration for the 2020 Olympics.
Then, there are just random headlines that show up on the AOL page when I turn on my computer. Headlines such as:
* “How Britney Spears Copes With Anxiety” (I always thought it was alcohol, Marlboros and getting a bad haircut)
* “Miley Cyrus Says She Was Famed Rapper in Past Life” (You mean rap’s been around long enough for dead rappers to be reincarnated)
* “Nicole Richie’s Legs Are TONED” (Well, that certainly makes the world a better place)
* “Beyonce Eats Burger and Fries With Champagne” (Once again, the world is a better place for that)
* “What Kanye Was Doing When the Jay-Z Album Came Out” (Uh, eating burgers and fries with champagne with Beyonce)
* “Why Did Jennifer Love Hewitt Quit Twitter?” (Who cares)
* “Limbaugh: Fox News Tried to Shut Me Down” (Most of us just wish he’d shut up)
* “Keith Olbermann Takes Swipe at Rachel Maddow” (Don’t you just love a good cat fight?)
Well, I think I’ve done enough to make the world a better place for the moment without being a reincarnated rapper, or quitting Twitter. It’s time to get back to the weekend. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any roller derby matches scheduled?
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